Rules of Retail

1. Never use the joke, "There's no price, so it must be free." You know it's not free. We hear the joke a thousand times a day. Believe us when we say, it's not funny.

2. Have a little patience when you look for someone to help you. Yes, there is limited staff for a bigger shopping crowd. Unless you want to pay our salaries yourself, I suggest you try understanding. We have to help everyone, so we will get to you in due time.

3. Hang up your clothes when you try them on. Do you throw your clothes on the floor at home? No! It's supposedly a fact that those with the cleanest homes are the messiest in public. It's not appreciated.

4. Never come into a store five minutes before you know it closes if you just want to browse. Along the same lines, don't say, "They probably have a family they want to go home to" and then look around for 20 more minutes. Yes, we do have a family, and we would much rather be around them then some rudeass customers.

5. When you come to check out, be ready. Don't proceed to pick through your purchases or shop around at the front. We have other people we can help. And if you are behind a whole bunch of people or have a lot of stuff, make out your check while you wait. Utilize your time.

6. I am here to assist you, but don't use me because you are too lazy to actually walk around and look for stuff. We are not your "little shopper girl/boy." We are there to work and to help people, not run around the store trying to please you.

7. It's not a garage sale, an auction, or a flea market. I am not going to bargain with you on the price. Either you want it or you don't. Don't look for tiny flaws just to get discounts. It just makes you look rude and cheap. Also, we don't care what another store charges. If you like their price better, go there. No one is stopping you, and no one wants to hear about it either.

8. Don't let your dogs run around in the grass near our cars and use the bathroom. We like our cars just fine, and we don't appreciate them being ruined.

9. Our store is not a babysitting service. Watch your kids in the store. Try to keep the crying to a minimal, don't ignore it. We don't want your kids climbing on the furniture, hiding under the racks, playing in the fountains, throwing the merchandise, or racing up the aisles. It is a place of business, and you should respect that.

10. When you come into the fitting room know how many items you have. We don't find it funny when you say, "Too many." We just want to give you the damn plastic number so we can go back to what we were doing. Also, if it says limit 6, it's limit 6. All people over the age of 5 should be able to count that high, so don't act dumbfound when we tell you that you can't take 7 in.

11. If your credit card/check is declined, it is not our faults. We don't pay your bills. We don't spend your money. We only take it when you attempt to make a purchase. If you can't keep up on your bills, you shouldn't be buying anything. Use common sense, it will work almost everytime.

12. Have patience. Tags fall off. Customers put things back on the wrong rack. Signs get moved around. Employees forget sales. Things happen that are sometimes accident and/or beyond our control. Kindness and patience will get you everywhere. Don't yell at my employees. You are the only one who ends up looking bad. I will not let you intimidate me, so move on. We have a thousand other customers willing to spend money in our store.