For some stupid reason I've been thinking about Robbie pretty much all day. Yell and I were reading through some old emails last night and we came to one that I had sent her, in which I had pasted one of my conversations with him. In fact, it was the last conversation we ever had... I didn't realize that's the last time we ever talked until I read it over. I mean, I probably knew it was, but I hadn't realized the way that we left things.The very end:
Me: Why do u keep coming back into my life and telling me that u miss me and you'll see me soon and make me believe that everything is alright again, just so u can disappear without a trace? you have to know that you do it every single time. And it HURTS.
Robbie says: i'm sorry, i come back with the intention, and i'm sorry that i'm unreliable, and i'm sorry i'm an asshole, but please don't make me sorry for loving you, please, i'm sorry i've hurt you, i truly am
Me: Then why do u keep doing it? the intention is enough for u to come back but not enough to make u stay?
Robbie: i want to stay, but you have to realize that it's hard, never being able to see you or be with you, believe me, if i could be with you, i would be right now.
Me: and it's not hard for me?
Robbie: i'm sorry, i hafta go, i'll be on tomorrow though, i promise, give me a time
C.ourt:: says:
Me: 9
Robbie: i'll be on then, nite
...I read that now and I feel so incredibly stupid, mad, full of hate and regret all at the same time. The last thing he ever said to me was a complete lie, and I honestly thought he was coming back. I was such a naive little girl.
