But every once in a while I get jolted back to reality. This is a 9/11 related entry, so if you’re not interested, if you’re tired of the topic, or if you don’t want to read about this for any other reason, then don’t.

I didn’t write anything on September 11th, but I’m writing something today. The attacks in New York and Washington shouldn’t be remembered on one day of the year, but every other ordinary day, a time like right now, as you’re reading this. Attacks like this happen everywhere, almost everyday, and we have to remember all of them.

I’ve taken a lot of things for granted, and events like those of last September stop me dead in my tracks so I can look around. I cried that day, I felt the pain, I had to leave the room when pictures of those missing were put on television.

The point of my entry is this: I’m scared. As a Canadian, I’ve never felt scared for my own personal safety before.

I experienced emotions I don’t think I had felt before on 9/11, but they were emotions outside of myself, grieving for others, for their loss, for their pain. I was affected inside, but was never worried that something would affect me personally, that could change MY life that much.

I’m feeling something, like it’s the beginning of something horrible. I can’t explain it, it’s just one of those feelings in your stomach, the kind that you stop thinking about as soon as you sense it’s there, the kind of thing that you have no control over.

And this is affecting my personally, and making me scared. I feel like we’re traveling towards a waterfall… we can hearing the rushing water, but can’t figure out how to paddle backwards….. and then suddenly, we’ll fall.

I don’t know why I’m feeling this way, and I probably sound absolutely nuts.

I’m kind of hoping that everyone decided to skip over this entry, and I’m contemplating not posting this at all, as I feel I haven’t really written what I set out to say at the beginning….